Episode 9, Where Season Premiers Go Wrong

There were a lot of good series and season premiers out there last week including: The Office on NBC (yes, Jim & Pam did hook up), Criminal Minds on CBS (who knew Mandy Patinkin was retiring?!), My Name is Earl on NBC, (yes, Earl found people in prison on his list), Life on NBC (one of my favorite new series this fall-a complete surprise!) and Cane on CBS (the best new show on this fall-and I expected it to be.) But there were also some duds. Let's explore where season premiers go wrong! (Oh yeah, this entry is full of spoilers in case you haven't watched last week's TV yet...read on at your own risk!)

Starting with the most benign of errors: Unrealistic character changes. Grey's Anatomy, ABC, takes the cake here for 3 reasons. First was the introduction of Meredith’s half sister, Lexie. Is it just me or is Lexie an odd-miniature Meredith who the writers have mimicking everything I dislike about Meredith: the hesitant speech patterns, the "getting lost while thinking inside her head" and most disdainfully her showing up (admittedly, last season) in the bar where Dr. Shepard didn't introduce himself as a doctor. Second was the sudden resignation of Dr. Burke. Yes, I know what happened in real life that got him fired from the show, but I take issue with it taking Christina more than 17 days and nearly a whole shift to figure out that he was gone in a hospital where patients (who were presumably a bit distracted by their own needs) knew that Meredith was sleeping with Addison's so-to-be-ex-husband and had the nerve to confront Addison about it within a couple hours of being admitted. (Oh, and there was never once mention of Addison down in California, weird.) Third too many new characters: Why did Izzy, Alex, Christina & Meredith all have to get 4 interns? As long as Christina keeps referring to them by number, we should be OK. So why should you watch? Grey's is still an enjoyable, gossipy hospital drama that will make you laugh and cry. The best line of the premier was Izzy to her interns: "When I woke up this morning I thought I was going to get the good interns, but I didn't. I got the duds. So we'll all have to change our expectations a little."

The second place to mess up a premier, particularly a series premier, is to leave us confused if the show is a drama or comedy. The notable entry here is Big Shots, ABC. I really had high hopes for this show with actors from some of my favorite shows (Christopher Titus from the short-lived sitcom Titus, Joshua Malina from the highly rated drama West Wing, Michael Vartan from action & suspense packed Alias and Dylan McDermott from the law-drama The Practice.) But I was left confused and unsatisfied with the first hour of the show. Was I supposed to feel compassion for Dylan trying to make amends by offering his 19-year old daughter a job at his cosmetic company? Humor when Vartan's philandering boss was killed by a runaway golf cart? The list of incongruities goes on and on, I think in part because the leading men are both comedic and dramatic actors. So why should you watch? Hopefully the producers/directors will tighten up the focus of this show and deliver a compelling drama about rich, powerful businessmen...although it is quite possible the subject matter just isn't that compelling.

In my mind, the most egregious error in a season premier is traumatic injury to a main character. ER, NBC, follows this path season after season. In fact, I believe the pilot episode began with the Juliana Margulies character attempting suicide and being rushed into County General. This season begins with Neela nearly being trampled to death in an anti-war rally, being taken to County General and undergoing life saving surgery requiring 11 pints of blood. Really ER? After 14 seasons of Dr. Romano's arm amputation (and later death) by helicopter, Dr. Ray Bennett’s being hit by a bus, Dr. Pratt's surviving a road rage shooting and plunge into the river, Dr. Dubenko's bout as the "remote robot TV-head doctor" and Dr. Greene's bathroom beat-down by an angry brother of a patient the best you can do is 11 pints of blood? (note the sarcasm) Given the "accidental" injury rate, I think it wise not to accept any job offers at County General. So why should you watch? ER's been on the air for 14 years and has effectively dealt with a rotating cast while still delivering touching story lines that bring a tear to my eye.

The Queen has spoken!